I worship Whole Foods. I really do. Where else can I find $100 yoga pants, a Diva cup and dried mango in bulk? Only problem, and it’s colossal, is that it is so dang expensive. Seriously. I’ll stop in on the way to work to grab a donut and a coffee and end up taking out a second mortgage on my make believe house.

Regardless, sometimes I decide it’s time to have a vegetable and drive the 5 blocks from my office to the store that charges $10 for an eco-friendly toothbrush and throw some poorly prepped hunks of non-GMO lettuce in a biodegradable box. Seriously. Who the hell is in the prep kitchen? This mad me so mad! I bet I paid $6 for this romaine lettuce butt alone.

Like the late Donna Summer said, “Enough is Enough.” I had to change shit up. On the recommendation of my coworker I decided to go to  Lanesplitter, a local pizza spot for a salad. I’ve been there millions of times (they serve beer) but never had their salad. I’m hooked.

Look at that largesse of goodness. Lettuce (sans le butt), bean sprouts, garbanzo and kidney beans, purple cabbage, carrots, radishes and a fabulous vegan garlic vinaigrette to dress it with. And they’ll even throw in some breadsticks! This whole shebang only runs you $6.27, but they’ve been known to take $6..25! Such nice guys. This same salad would easily be $10 at the other guys.

Another cool thing about Lanesplitter is that they have vegan pizza! Whaaaaat? Yup. They make their own “Notta Ricotta” that they put on top or inside of the biggest calzone you’ve ever seen.

I’m so done with the Whole Foods salad bar. Their $12 a pound price tag and sloppy kitchen skills can suck it.

There’s a new salad tosser in my town, and his name is Lanesplitter.