Parenting is no joke. My mind never rests from the fear that I am not doing a good enough job, like EVER. I’ll go from believing that if there is a hole in one of Zeke’s socks and people will think we are living like peasants to believing he’s going to “catch” A.D.D. from watching too many cartoons, need Ritalin and become a meth-head. Sometimes it feels like being water-boarded, not to take anything from water-boarding, I’m sure it’s rough, but if Cheney wanted to pull some intel out of the terrorists, he should have given them the mind of a mother for a day.

When my mom told a friend of hers that  Zeke doesn’t eat meat, her friend replied, “God! It’s enough to torture yourself but does she have to torture the child too?” Yeah, that’s what I’m doing. I’m TORTURING my child by keeping dead animals off of his plate. Sure, I need to take it easy on judging my weary soul, but I know the one area in which I am owning this parenting gig is in my veganism.

Here are 5 reasons why vegans make great parents:

1. We are compassionate. The ladybug on my geranium, the pigeon on the playground and the cow in the pasture all have the same right to be doing what they are they are doing. My boy is learning that just because something looks and acts differently than he does doesn’t mean he has the right to hurt or kill it. If you don’t like the spider in the bathtub, get a cup and get the fucker out, but don’t kill her! Be kind to all.

2. We are true to our word.  I hear people say all the time, “I love animals!” while they naw on a bone that was meant to be the foundation of a beautiful and glorious wing. To the people who say that I have to ask, do you? Do you really love animals? I’m calling your bluff. In my house, we really do love animals, therefore we do not eat them. ANY of them.

3. We think outside of the box. Year after year, schools dissect animals in science classes, take kids on field trips to the circus and participate in ridiculous fundraisers like donkey basketball (yeah, that’s real. Click on it and be blown away). Vegan parents are saying hellz nah, and forcing a change. Granted these activities don’t involve eating animals, but if you are vegan you typically care about how animals are treated in all areas. I get calls at work all the time from vegan parents who are saying no to these cruel and asinine activities and developing alternatives. We don’t just go with the flow, we are innovators!

4. We are healthier. Research shows that a diet free of animal products decreases your risk of heart disease, stroke, diabetes and obesity. I would hate to have a heart attack when Zeke was in 7th grade just because I couldn’t put down the Big Mac. Parents need to be strong and energetic. Shitty food doesn’t lend itself to these attributes.

 5. We care about our kid’s future.  Did you know that it takes 600 gallons of water to produce one friggin hamburger? That’s CRIZANAY. We are drying up this planet so fast that even the desert is asking what the hell is going on. If we don’t have a shift in thinking and in action soon our planet is gonna shrivel up and die. Vegan parents aren’t just thinking about today. Nope, we care about our kid’s futures and how they will survive when we are gone. I’m raising my boy to think about how his actions effect not just animals, but the planet and the future of humankind.

There you go. Just a handful of reasons why vegan parents are awesome. Let me know if you have anything to add. I have to go. My son just woke up and I have to get his breakfast together so I can torture him.